The House Of My Mother
Review Snapshot:
⚠️TW: Severe Abuse, Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)⚠️
What mood is this right for: You’re ready to ugly cry
Length: 320 Pages
Genre: Non-Fiction | Memoir | Biography
Source: Book of the Month (join for just $5)
Where to Buy: The House of My Mother - Affiliate Link - BOTM - Free with a Trial of Audible
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
1 Sentence Summary: Shari Franke shows us the harrowing side of family influencing, the unseen consequences of turning children into content, and no matter how ‘perfect’ look online we don’t know what’s happening behind the camera.
My Thoughts:
This was a difficult book to read and is equally difficult to write about. Before picking The House of My Mother up, I only knew some small details of what happened with Ruby Franke, I had no idea the depth of the situation.
I grabbed this as my book of the month because I love to read memoirs—especially from survivors. As someone who experienced childhood abuse myself, I often find the recounting these stories to be empowering and validating. Shari’s story was no different.
Throughout this book, Shari Franke recounts the events in her family that unfolded as her mother’s, Ruby Franke, following grew online. Ruby Franke started her channel 8 Passengers in 2015. As many of you may already know, it ended in 2023 with Ruby Franke’s and her counterpart Jodi Hildebrandt’s arrest and charges with multiple counts of child abuse. In 2024 their sentences to serve between four and sixty years (however they will not serve more than 30 because of Utah laws - their full sentence will not be determined until Dec 2026).
Shari and her co-writer take us through the series of events that unfolded throughout her family’s rise in fame. The manipulation, isolation, and religious extremism happening just behind the lens. This is not just about Shari and her family. It’s a warning to anyone watching or particiapting in family influencing. This will have you questioning every single smiling family blog you see. .
This was well-written and devastating.With how much of Shari’s soul is on the page, there is no way to leave this book unchanged. However, it does end on a hopeful note with Shari’s mission to prevent any other children from experiencing other children from living the nightmare she and her siblings endured.
There are a few things I would encourage readers of this book (or watchers of the documentary):
The first is to be careful who they judge in this situation (outside of Ruby and Jodi obviously). There is a lot of commentary about the dad online. The only people who get to determine his fault is his children, who have chosen to forgive him. They have had enough speculation about their family online, it’s not for you to speculate how they should feel about their father when you were not there. As the daughter of a mother with BPD and my own heap of religous trauma, the manipulation runs much deeper than you can imagine. It would be great if adults in these situations were immune but, they are not. The dynamics in these relationships are complicated, in these scenarios, following the lead of the adult children is a good general suggestion.
Secondly, stop looking for names and signs of the other children online. I have seen a few reddit posts and reviews asking for updates. I understand the desire for a conclusion but, the adults involved in this story have chosen to keep their identities anonymous until they can choose for themselves. They have been exploited enough, don’t participate in that.
Lastly, I have seen a lot of judgement online of Shari continuing to participate in the LDS church. Victims like Shari can only deconstruct some many aspects of their lives. If her faith is giving her any sense of comfort, let it go.
This book isn’t an easy read but, in this age where “lifestyle” blogs are explioting children all over the internet, it’s a book no one should skip.
“To anybody who has been silenced, gaslit, abused, or lonely. You are stronger than you know. May earthly and heavenly angels lift you up.”
- Shari Franke
Resources:
Shari Franke’s work
NAMI
Childhelp
